hard to concentrate

I'm finding it a little hard to concentrate today. So, as it was pointed out to me earlier in the day that it has been 2 weeks since I last posted, I thought that since I'm not getting any work done, I may as well do something about it.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about so I surfed some of my fave blogs for some inspiration. I found myself at the Abarbablog. Their blog is great, and if you haven't ever been, it's well worth the visit (I am sure that I have recommended it before). Anyways, I must admit that it has been a while since I've been there (sorry Katelyn) but one post that caught my eye -- mainly because of it's title -- was this one. God. It was written by Ron, who in many ways I look to as a kind of spiritual father-figure. And with this post I remembered why I look up to him so much. One thing that I admire about Ron is that he practices honesty towards God: frustration, anger, whatever. (Ok, so he wasn't being particularly pissy with God in this post at all, but he was honest.)

He wrote about waiting on God, and his words (and the words of the Big Book that he quoted) pierced me as nothing but clean, honest truth can do.

Hearing people's honesty with God and with themselves always makes me inspired to do the same. I guess you could say that I am frustrated with God right now. Why? Well partly because I am finding it so hard to concentrate today. Partly because I am frustrated with the father he's given me. And partly because I don't feel like he has been a particularly present father to me himself lately. (Whatever happened to omnipresent?) I feel a bit bad about complaining, but then I remember what my old officemate said to me once that complaining (i think he used another word that started with a 'b') helps you to articulate what you are feeling. So, sorry, but I gotta vent.

Really though, where IS God when he's not present. WHY does he have to be so distant?? Sigh. I think that if I were really honest, I would probably end up in a heap of frustrated tears on the floor. Thank goodness for social norms and office etiquette, for your sake I'm staying right here in my chair.

But I know I can't stay in this place of complaining. It's good to be honest about one's feelings, but you've also got other things to do. For example, as Isaiah pointed out "There is a lot of celebrating that can happen in the waiting." So this is my new task for the day (work apparently is being put on hold for a bit): Find a bunch of good things about my day and celebrate them.

Here's a short list to start:
1) It's Friday(!) and the weekend is coming sooooo soon. (Like 10 minutes soon!)
2) I'm going to a tai chi class tonight after work with my friend Luc, and I can tell already that I am going to love it
3) I've got some GREAT friends here in Vancouver, and I'm excited about hanging out with some of them this weekend
4) My new apartment is SOOO good. (Hopefully pictures will come soon.)

That was fantastically easy and satisfying. I'd recommend it to anyone.
Well, now I've got to get back to work for a few minutes before heading to a little post-work Tai Chi.

A Dios.