hello jeff
This is going to be a quick post as I am at work and it is during working hours.
Apparently anyone can access a website through the internet.
I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago when I overheard the words "your officemate" and "has a blog" being spoken to my officemate Ben. I pulled off my headphones with my ears ringing. I demanded that Jeff explain what he was talking about.
Apparently if you go to finance.google.com, search for my company ('mda' works), and check out the "other blogs" link at the bottom of the blogs section, you'll find a link to my post "vancouver ho!".
So this post is for Jeff -- thanks for not sending the link out to the whole team (or the whole company). And for Ben too: thanks for being the kind of guy who wouldn't do such a thing. It makes me a little bit wierded out that any of you can now read all of the things I've written on this blog, but I guess you (or anyone else) could have done that anyways.
Did a quick google search on "zoe + blog + vancouver" and didn't find any links to our site in the first 15 pages, so that's a bit of a relief anyways.
posted by zoe at 7:02 p.m.
10 Comments:
Hi Zoe.
I just thought it was cool that of all the people at MDA to have a blog, it's someone I know. :)
I do have to say though that I've not seen you as serious as you looked when those headphones came off and you turned around. I wanted to laugh and run for my life at the same time.
On another note entirely... I apologise. Again. In fact, I'd like to apologise in advance for the next stupid thing I'm going to say, which should come along real soon now.
5:59 p.m.
Jeff,
Stupid comment? I think you already said it. What was it again? Oh yeah...
"Hey Zoe, you're smarter than you look."?
Yeah, still waiting for the on-bended-knee apology for that one. (And you can tell Jenny all about it when it happens too.) ;)
6:08 p.m.
Hi Adam
Nice to hear from you! Yeah, I would find it REALLY wierd if my parents read my blog. I try not to overthink too much (though this may be a BIT harder now, thx jeff). When I first started blogging the overthinking actually prevented me from posting at all. I guess it's good to be somewhat conscious of what you are saying, but I don't like the idea of being censored. At least not to the point where it prevents free expression.
6:13 p.m.
Hmm. Well, here I was, writing a big spiel about how you should screw the overthinking and just be you and damn the consequences and who cares what people think... and then I read what I wrote and thought that I probably had better not write that, as I went places that I'm not sure I should in this forum...
Then I realised the irony in the whole situation and decided to write this instead.
So. Like I was going to say, but didn't... but will... (my brain hurts)
Be Real (note the capitals). Who cares what people think? You have to be true to yourself, and you can't be responsible for how people react. If they have a problem with you because of what you write on this blog, then they don't deserve to know you. Yes, that's probably a bit harsh.
I'm going to stop now, before I get myself in trouble. Again.
Jeff
6:36 p.m.
Jeff et al,
In response:
Unless before you stopped yourself you were planning on going in a totally different direction, there's no worry of getting yourself in "trouble."
To be Real and Honest and Frank, (in some cultures they'd invoke the CHP here) your comment made me cry. [Is that wierd if I write that?] Yup two big fat messy tears. Sitting in front of my monitor with my headphones on. For once I'm glad my monitor faces a wall. Ugh. Being REAL. I try. And yet reading this still makes me cry; and it's not just about blogging people. Clearly I'm not there yet. Wherever there is.
Maybe this makes me a girl. And maybe it makes me weak. And maybe I'm both. But i think there's something about it that makes me strong too.
Now I'm going to stop before its my turn to be in trouble. Duty calls.
6:57 p.m.
The thing about being real is that it leaves you vulnerable. Just posted this comment and after reading it have this kind of sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Did i say too much? Was I TOO vulnerable? Was talking with someone the other day who is struggling with the difference between public and private. Was what I shared too private? Would anyone even say so if it were? Or would they just respond awkwardly (or not at all) and back away.
7:04 p.m.
Well, it's actually kind of interesting that you talked about being vulnerable, saying too much, and the public/private thing, because the reason I felt I had to stop was that I was going places that I felt were too private. This is where I am supposed to take my own advice and be who I am and screw what people think, right? Yeah, right. I'm not there yet either, but at least I'm in good company.
"Is that weird if I write that?" I don't think so. It softened my heart to hear you say that (read you write that?).
"Maybe this makes me a girl." No, I don't think it does -- although I believe that you are one. ;)
"And maybe it makes me weak." No!! Being vulnerable scares the hell out of me. I think if anything it demonstrates your strength.
"But i think there's something about it that makes me strong too." Yes. Yes yes yes!
"Would anyone even say so if it were? Or would they just respond awkwardly (or not at all) and back away." I'm of two minds about this (you'll find that I'm of two minds about lots of things).
The "screw what people think" Jeff says ... well, "screw what people think" (bet you didn't see that coming). He figures that if people can't handle the real Jeff with all the ugly shit that goes along with him, then they're not worth his time, cause honestly, he doesn't have that much of it to spare - life is flying by fast and we only get one crack at it.
Umm... hmm. Well, I'll read that last paragraph again later and see what I think of it then.
On the other hand, perhaps sometimes some restraint is necessary. If we want to be all things to all people, we can't go around scaring people off can we?
Here's another thing. If you hadn't written (wrote? I don't know) what you did, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation (and my test plan would probably be finished). And I'm glad we are.
I don't feel like I'm finished, but I think I'll submit this comment and see what you think. Besides, I should get back to that test plan.
Jeff
2:33 p.m.
Are you and Jeff going to start dating or what?
11:46 p.m.
that comment is wierd. for lots of reasons. perhaps the person who wrote it can explain themselves.
first of all jeff is married. i have not met his wife, but from what i do know of her she sounds cool. second of all he's kind of like my boss. third of all (not that there need to be reasons past the first one) anyone who knows me knows im not in a postition to be dating right now.
1:46 p.m.
Zoe, I think you're being too kind. That comment is not weird. That comment is inane and whoever wrote it is a moron.
Although, our Mystery Guest here illustrates a point for me and so I suppose I should be grateful.
You (Zoe) and I are having a really good conversation about something that I believe is important. We're both being open and honest and Real, and what do we get? Somebody comes along and says something stupid. Do we let this get to us? Do we even care what Mystery Guest thinks? Hell no! Is this comment going to change my behaviour or make me think twice about what I write here? Not in the least (unless you count this comment of course).
So, to the commenter hiding behind a shroud of internet anonymity: Thank you. You illustrate my point wonderfully.
7:40 p.m.
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