My Staff in Mexico

Pastor Joel & Carmen

David

Tim and some of our Girls

Jen & me

Saturday Afternoon

In true west coast style I spent the afternoon up in the mountains today.

For the last three years a bunch of people from my church have been going up to one of the local mountains here (Seymour mountain) for an afternoon of snowshoeing. Of course, this was my first time joining the group, and it was such a great time! -- What an amazing way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Besides the sheer physical satisfaction of using all those muscles that you never get a chance to use, it was great to get to spend quality time with good people. Church can be a funny thing if the only time you see the people who go there is on Sunday morning. For me the afternoon really helped me feel connected to the church & its people in a real and natural way.

The day was gorgeous too. Though it was cloudy and a bit cold, it turned out to be great weather for the event. Although Vancouver is completely bare of snow (as it is most of the time), there was plenty of snow on the ground by the time we had driven up the mountain to where the ski hill and snowshoeing runs are. Halfway through our trip beautiful big flakes began to fall, coming down softly with the gentle breeze. It truly made the afternoon feel complete as a winter event!

Saturday morning

I'm currently cleaning my house. It has gotten to the point where I can't stand it anymore. So, I got up early on Saturday to clean my house. I'm also eating oreo's and drinking coffee. A breakfast worthy of my mission this morning. My house is rotten to begin with but and I feel like I just need to bleach it everday. I restrain myself but I decided it was worth it to scrub it again. Now, I just have to keep all my visitors out so they don't make it messy. Just kidding. Even if I wanted to it would be impossible. We have a house in El Paso that I am currently staying in. It is really the staff house so my fellow staff who live in Juarez use it to crash in which is perfect. It is what they need and I love to cook for them and take care of them. So, I don't really mind the mess. Just this morning. My fellow co-workers are Jen, David, Mike, Gordon and Carolyn, Tim and Debbie and Pastor Joel and his family. I'm going to find some pictures of them so you can meet them. Warning, they are all crazy, but not as crazy as me.

This is me in Mexico

Typical picture of missionary with kid, but I hate pictures so I avoid them so there are only a few good ones of me and this is one of them.

Greetings from Mexico

Hello All!
I guess I'm back! It's so good to hear from you all. I almost sound Texan there. I do live in the amazing border of Mexico and Texas. That just makes for a interesting mix. I actually love it. So, I work in Mexico. I'm a missionary for better or for worse. Right now I feel like if I quit I would be in direct disobedience to God. Sometimes when I'm stress I really just want to leave and go do something normal (I know that doesn't exist, but I live in some kind of realm of extreme abnormality) and God always tells me that would be in disobeying. And I although I often disrespect God and do not treat his as I should I just cant stand the thought of really disobeying him. I also know that when I try to pull away from God, he always pulls me back because I screw up. So, this is partly why I'm here. Anyway, one day I will tell you all about my life here. I don't have the energy to go into it tonight. So for now, I only wanted to say hello.

pictures

can anyone tell me how i can post pictures? i know im supposed to be a software engineer and all, but i can't seem to get 'picasa' and 'hello' (the two programs they recommend using on the blogger help site) to ACTUALLY put a picture online where it is of use to me. i was able to do it once when we first started to blog, but i haven't been able to since. what i want to do is put a picture of myself somewhere online so that i can use it in my profile.

anyone?

intimidated by busy-ness

So frustrated. I just got off the phone with an old friend from high school and i am feeling deflated and intimitdated. Really, I should feel excited for her about how satisfied she seems: she's got a fancy job (well, two jobs really, yes 2 full-time jobs), is just finishing her degree at university (yes, full-time studies), she's cheerleading on the All-Stars team (as well as coaching, and judging for the sport), she's on all kinds of committees, and has been publishing all kinds of papers and flying all over the world.

SHE IS SO BUSY! Ugh. It makes me feel so rotten about the fact that I can barely put in 40 hours at work, and don't do a whole hell of a lot outside of those 40 hours. What happened to my getupandgo? I've got to get out of this contemplative 'Mary' lifestyle.

Sorry I just had to vent there. (That's allowed here, right?)

Ah, friends. Please stop me from allowing this to disintigrate into a spiral of self-pity and deprication. What a sorry mess that would be. (Am I allowed to ask for help? I am still testing the 'rules' and etiquitte of blogger-land. Thanks for your grace.)

2 more thoughts

1) If anyone is reading this I apologize for my (apparently chronic) verboseness. The words seem so much longer when they're on the blog than in the little box you write in.

2) I am thinking about changing the colours on the site. I liked the black at first: simple, clean, etc. But it's a little dark, and maybe a little boring. Now that I've got some web designing skill maybe I can spice it up a little. Of course I need to get approval from my two fellow posters (is that the right term?), but I would love to hear anyone else's opinions.

(p.s. is anyone reading this, christy? Or is it just the 3 of us and your LQ housemates --> hello Jess!!)
p.p.s. our picture is huge. and a little out of date. surely we have some newer ones...

5 days of sunshine

Well, in an attempt to make ammends and rejoin the world of the living (well, at least the world of communicating) I am heartily taking up Christy's call to re-blog. My most sincere apologies to all the friends who have already put me in the 'never going to call/write back' category. (It is nothing personal, I SWEAR!) Here's to hoping my heartiness will last...

So lately I've been obsessed with trying to be honest. I think that Christy (and probably Susana too) would probably say that I have always been this way, but have been trying to add depth and thoughtfulness to this honestly in recent times. I think this is not a bad place to do it. Really, if you want to be super-open about all of your personal thoughts and feelings that you've maybe never shared before, what better place to do so than the internet? ;0)

What to talk about -- how about the weather? Well, contrary to Christy's post from yesterday, we've actually had about 5 days of sun in a row here in Vancouver. (HOLY CRAP!) I seriously thought that I was never really going to get to see the sun again, and that when it came out (every 3 weeks or so) it was just to taunt us and prevent us from accepting a sun-less world. And so I lived as a slave to the grey, clinging to a small sliver of hope that the sun would someday return.

Ironically enough, now that it is back I spend most days inside not able to enjoy it anyways. But let's not get too carried away with complaining.

Speaking of irony, what is irony anyways? I don't think that this is really an example of irony, unless you think that it is dramatic irony and that God is the audience sitting and watching me walk into my dreary grey-walled windowless office just at the moment as the sun peak out from behind the clouds. (Is that even what dramatic irony is? My memory of grade 12 English class is hazy.) My uncle Mike, who is a very smart man, once pointed out to me that in Alanis Morisette's song, most of her stories are not examples of irony.

Is it ironic that I spoke about my conviction to express deep and thoughtful honesty and then went on to talk of such pithy things as the weather and Alanis Morisette? Thoughts anyone?

peace. and love.
zoe