This is not about the ocean!

So, this weekend, I went to a drive in movie theater. This is a stupid thing to do. But last week, I started work, and I had a cold, so every day after work I would go home and go to bed because I felt so sick. So, by Friday night I was so tired of staying home that when Adam asked me if I wanted to go, I said I was interested. So, let me tell you why this was a stupid thing to do. The drive-in theater was in the valley which is about an hour outside of Halifax. The movies only started at 9pm. I was still very sick and generally should have been in bed by 9. And lastly, this was stupid because one of the movies was XXX: State of the Union. But I felt like going out so off we went. I convinced Ruth that she should come and Jane also agree to come, so in the end it was 3 girls and Adam. This made it fun. And the other movie was Hitch which is a less stupid movie. So, Jane, Ruth and I made fun of XXX which you can do to a point. The thing that eventually ticked us off was the bad English these guy's spoke. After about 15min it was really hard to take. And if your thinking about watching Hitch, let me just tell you the moral of the story. You know if it is true love on the third date. Anyway, it ended up being fun, which just goes to prove that stupid things are sometimes fun. And I got home at 2:30am and promptly slept until 11:30 the next morning. And spent the day at home trying to get over my cold, which did go away on Sunday.

sleepin' in the park

after threats of threats from katelyn, im back. before i move on, i'd like to tell some stories about our 48 hour trip in the street, as promised.

At around 4:30 on April 25th, the 5 of us (Jon, Merrin (Victoria LQers), Christy, Susana and I) set out for a two day plunge into the heart of one of Canada's roughest downtow cores with no money, no food, and no clothes except the ones on our backs. We brought along sleeping bags, and a couple of cell phones and ID hidden away in socks. But for the most part we were at the mercy of the city, like hundreds of others in Vancouver's downtown east side.

Here are a few exerpts from my journal about the experience:

Reaching Main St. I tried to look "somber" and fit in. We asked two men for a good cheap place to eat. I couldn't stop staring at his yellowing teeth and bleeding lip. We asked about a free meal. They seemed friendly and helpful, but not surprised, as I had anticipated.
...
(Free dinner at a mission)
The sermon was condescending, and incoherent. The smartly dressed preacher and his matchng wife were selling a way to salvation by talking about Zerubabel, and about a "friend" who he'd helped overcome alcoholism. 'Your resources are not enough' he told us. 'You need help.' I reacted strongly. He didn't speak with an ounce of humility or genuine compassion. The only real emotion he was emitting was fear... We felt like cattle.
...
We sit inside at a table by ourselves though people are all around us. I am feeling quite desperate to fit in. I want to make conversation and interact with people. I try to look more scared than I actually am because I feel like that will make me appear like a newcomer to the scene, a traveller perhaps. One man asks if we are new around here. I ask him how he can tell. "You don't look like addicts" he says. We are both silent. He gets up to leave.
...
Walking down Carrall St I had a thought to stop and talk to the woman on the corner at the old Woodwards building. We had seen her there before and I was curious to find out why she was sitting there and thought she was a prime person to get some interaction with.

Behind her was a red flag with a black cross on it. She was wearing a big floppy straw hat with a wide rippled brim that came down low and covered her face. She had a box set up as a table in front of her with a basket and a small can for change, but it was pretty obvious that she wasn't panhandling. Beside her was a wheeled shopping basket. She was reading the Bible. 1 Corinthians.

I asked her what she was doing sitting there. I felt a bit awkward starting up the conversation. She looked at me. "Praise de Lord, my chile!" Her face lit up as her eyes met mine. It was almost like she already knew me. She was strange looking. Hers wasn't the face I was expecting to find under the patched brim of floppy straw. She was neither soft nor gentle. Her eyes were large and they were opened wide. Her stare was piercing, but her eyes were hazy, almost milky with what I assume to be cataracts. But I knew she could see me.

In a strong Jamaican accent she began to speak to us. "I be here to tell the people to repent." She spoke loudly and with much strength in her voice. I felt vulnerable when she looked at me. "The people -- there be sin all aroun' dis place. And de people need Jesus." I was excited, as I get when I hear people who speak Jesus' name, and of knowing God. Feelings of sympathy, agreement and love struggled against the fear and vulnerability which I felt when she looked at me. She went on. I felt slightly embarassed at the spectacle we were making. But these people make nothing of spectacles. It is part of the normalcy here.

Other people passed by. A transvestite stopped for a brief, patronizing conversation. A man shouted a warning that she practiced voodoo, calling her a witch. Another man came up and put some change in her basket. He had a patch on his eye and was wearing all black. He listened intently. I was curious to see what the man wanted from her, but Jon rightly said that we had to go get lunch. The sun was getting hot. I still wonder what they talked about.


I could proably go on forever, but will stop here for now. I can only apologize so many times for my long-winded-ness. But, if there is demand, I'll publish some more.

Susana & Ocean

Oh how I love thee (the ocean that is). So, last week we were at Camp Malagash on the North Shore of Nova Scotia. I spent so much time on the beach that I got this horrible cold that keeps me awake at night and that just won't go away. Christy loved warm, lush and beautiful Vancouver, but I love cold, dreary and rugged Nova Scotia. Perhaps I loved and found more beautiful my week at Malagash because there was less stress than in Vancouver. So, I spent the week on the beach, enjoying all the beautiful pictures God was painting everywhere. I did not get the rest I need and so my moods changed with the weather and the wind. I would be on a high because it would be sunny and everything was fun, and the next moment a cloud came in and I was so exhausted and ready to crash and yell to the world "Fine, you win!". I have no idea what I thought the world had againt's me. It was an emotional roller-coaster. My heart would want to break at the slightest thing. Over a piece of Seaglass I found because it was so beautiful, or over a vulnerable look I saw on someone's face.. Anyway, I guess this sarcastic and insensitive Manitoban is slowly going soft. But it is true that when God blesses us abundantly, you begin to take responsibility for the blessings around you and things can get uncomfortable or real. But I know it is always for my good, so I must just deal. Anyway, it was sunny everyday, people had a great time. I got to spend as much time as I wanted with the Abarbanel Clan (major highlight) and one afternoon, I went Clam digging with Jenna, Ruth and Zoe. This was the most fun thing ever. I had never dug clams before. And clams are so cool and disgusting. You too should try it if you have the chance. We did not eat the clams but properly left them in the ocean to live a happy life after we had named them. It was really fun.

Hello Everybody!

I'm back. Sorry about the extreme lack of blogging. In my defense, I have not had much access to a computer in the last month. I usually had it at least once a week. So, I should have at least given updates as should my fellow LQer's but they didn't and neither did I. So that was a needless slam on Christy and Zoe (Sorry, but hint, lets all start blogging again). Anyway, I'm so overwhelmed with my life. It is crazy. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a whole and hide from the world for a while and make everything stop just long enough to catch my breath. But when I do catch my breath there is so much to reflect on that I can't do it in one breath. And to top it all off. I have a cold. Now, I realize that there are much worse things to have than a cold but I still would rather not have it.
Anyway, So, the last month for me has been, a week in Manitoba(wonderful), 2 weeks in Vancouver (hard), and 1 week at camp Malagash here in Nova Scotia(I'll tell you about it in the next entry). My last week in Vancouver was very hard. I don't believe I have ever had so much stress in one week. We did an Urban Plunge for 48 hours. I have no idea how to describe it. It was one of those experiences that made me be angry with myself, our culture, our city's, our government and our churches. I hate it when I respond to things that are screwed up in this world with anger. I do it all the time. That is totally the wrong way to solve a problem and it is definitely not Godly. In our urban plunge we tried to give up our power that we hold in the world and try to experience what it is like to be powerless and also to stand in solidarity with the powerless in our society. I realized that I love my power and I didn't want to give it up and also refused to give it up some of the time. Also everyone I met saw that I had power and told me to take it back and make something of my life. The powerless would tell me to get a job because I could and would people with power. And I would agree with them, that I have power and am responsible for it and need to use it to contribute to the world I'm in. So, I was not accepted, and I didn't like who I was either. Jesus gave up his power for the world, but I'm not Jesus. There are times in life that we do need to give up our power and stand with the powerless or give our power to them. This I know. It is not easy but I do hope that I will always be able to do it when it is required of me. I also learnt that our culture, our community's, our governments, and our churches do not often treat the powerless in our world with dignity and respect. Nor do the give them their power back. They only take more from them. So, if any of your are looking for a calling in life, here is one very few are working with. I realize I used the word power a lot. By that I mean the marginalized in our culture. Some of these are the poor, the mentally ill, our elderly, and many more.
So, that was that week. I don't think I laughed at all that week.