Good Friday

So, it is my opinion that there should be a post on our blog everyday. Therefore, every night on my way up to bed, I check to see if anyone has posted, and if they don't I debate (in my head) whether or not I have the energy to blog. At this present moment I'm going to force the energy out of me.
It's Good Friday today, so I have been thinking about Jesus and the cross. Here are some of my thoughts. I find it difficult to identify with Jesus (as in put myself in his shoes), I like his teachings a lot and I love him, but I have difficulty identifying with him. Sometimes I get a glimpse, however I have never been able to identify with him on the cross or leading up to it. This morning my first thought was it's Good Friday, and Jesus, you have to die today. My prayer then was "Sorry Jesus, I'm sorry your fate is that you are going to have the crappiest day ever today". There was no 'thanks for doing that' thoughts in my head. Then I kept thinking about it and how I just can't identify with this day. I think to myself, your Jesus, you knew this was what you were going to do and, I'm more excited about the fact that you came back three day's later and fulfilled your promises. And that you built up your relationships with the people you loved. And then I thought, Yeah, the crucifixion is huge, and vital to what Jesus did for us, but there is so much more to the story and what he did. So, I don't just have to focus on this part and make this the whole story. And I do hope to be able to identify with the cross some time, but I guess it won't be today.
I think I just tried to justify myself or defend my lack of understanding on a part Jesus in this post. Welcome to my brain. And I'm interested in your thoughts in this subject.